Archives

AKA:  The one after King Pin stormed out, and his understudy – Stewart (Crappy Writer) – assumed the interviewing role alongside Volare.

It happened between interview segments ~

After admitting that he read ZOMG! The Northern Fangirls, King Pin was confronted by his egocentric lover – publicist, Volare Putkin – and belittled.  King Pin had tried to interview Rosie Jones at the end of last session, only to be told in no uncertain terms that he was coming on to the writer and ignoring Volare!

We all know this is not true.  However, it gave Volare the chance to conduct this part of the interview on her own terms.  It also allowed her to introduce Stewart (Crappy Writer) to the mix, hoping to attract his attention to everything awesome about the commanding Volare Putkin.

Alas!  Water-boy script writer, Stewart, is interested in other things:

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Crappy: Nice to finally meet you face-to-face, Rosie.  Thanks for including me in The Deleted Scenes, and I’m hoping you might like to extend my character in the next installment?

He’s youthful, handsome and hopeful.  Everything Rosie loves in a character, and the perfect foil for the deluded (but I am real) characters of Volare and King Pin.

Rosie: Thanks Stewart.  You never know where you’ll turn up next.  Have you seen some of my older stories in LiveJournal.

Crappy and Rosie share a smile and a chuckle.  Volare looks up from working on her website – Sapphire Orifice – and snarls.

Volare: Don’t know what you two are planning, but if Stewart is included in the writing team, then it will only be at the say-so of KP and me.  I rule King Pin.

Crappy (still smiling): So?  How does ‘ZOMG! The Northern Fangirls’ differ from the original ‘Fangirls!!!!!!’ They are both novels about women fangirling the fictitious TV show Sapphire and both set in Season 1 of the that program.

Rosie (beaming): ‘The Northern Fangirls‘ is set in Britain, North America and Europe – of course, Sapphire is filmed in Boston – while Fangirls!!!!!! introduced two Aussie fans, Grace and Maddie.  The latest book looks at the theme of ‘obsession’ from a slightly different aspect, I think.  We see Dee completely interested and in love with Sapphire, its characters and plot, but she has so many distractions in her real life, that she is able to gain some perspective.

Crappy: Would you say that Dee was similar, in that way, to Maddie Rhodes?  Obsessed with Sapphire, but on, perhaps, a lesser level than Grace, Julia, Sam and Lou-Anne?

Volare: This is bullshit!  I rule these people. It might surprise you, Stewart and Rosie, that I troll these openbook users journals.  I know Sam, Grace, Maddie, Lou-Anne, Julia.  So boring!

Rosie (ignores her): If Dee is similar to anyone, it would be Maddie Rhodes, and perhaps that’s why they are friends?  They have a friendship beyond the bounds of Sapphire obsession and fanfic?  However, Dee brings more of a strain – and more complexity – into her life.  She is bound by manners, academia, hurt, finding herself single for the first time in a few years, living alone . . . and we find her vulnerable in other ways too.

Crappy: Right.  If anything, I think we see more growth and development with Dee, because of her online and bandom experience, than with Grace or Maddie.  I felt we got to know her a little better.  Grace was always so into her writing and her ship.  Maddie was in the early throes of a relationship with Rochester and there was the excitement of Singapore for those two characters.

Rosie: Yes.  There’s no Singapore for Dee, she has to confront things on the home front, realize people in the spotlight mightn’t be all they seem AND she is a little isolated from the other fangirls in America and Australia.  She bumbles about her life.  She’s at that age, too, where she is perceived to have everything – part time job in her professed area of strength, academic kudos in a little known field, a defacto relationship with a boy she had known forever.  Then everything changes.

Volare: I hate Dee!  I hate her screen name of standbyme, her gonadic attempts at fanfic in between insipid openbook entries about her real life.  Who the hell cares!

Crappy: (ignores her) Before we talk about Julia – Sapphy11 – I really need to ask this question.  Is there any truth to the rumour that you have based openbook on Livejournal, Sapphire on Prison Break and members of the Sapphire fandom on people you met through the PB fandom.

Rosie: Hmm.  Nope. Not really.  I like to think of the characters as composite – you know, a little of you, a little of me. For instance, the character of jemima_jones (real life name is Allison Donald) is an expat living in Kuala Lumpur.  She is a mad, mad Jamieson Trelor/Kate Girardi shipper.  She writes romantic fanfic that links the two main characters of Sapphire in love stories and she cannot BEAR the notion that others (for instance, Julia aka: Sapphy11) might pen stories about Davis Merrit/Kate Girardi.  She is a very popular fanfic writer and she only writes Jamieson/Kate ship stories.  Now, a couple of people might think jemima_jones is  representative of someone writing only Michael/Sara fanfic in PB.  In fact, some of jemima_jones’ lifestyle and habits are derived from my sister living in Asia, other aspects are taken from fanficcers I have met online . . .

Crappy: In short, the characters are composed of many different facets of personalities.

Rosie: I love you Stewart Crappy Writer.  YOU are right!  Some people thought I was Grace.  Whereas I really write Volare based on myself (winks!)

Volare is not even listening.  She is surfing openbook and creating “OMG, KATE GIRARDI IS DEAD” icons to stir up the fangirls and fanboys about season 2 and Kate Girardi’s possible demise.

Rosie (continues): openbook is an online journal.  Very similar in process to LiveJournal, yep. Sapphire is a cop-legal drama starring hawt, hot actors. Prison Break also had hawt, hot actors.  (shrugs)  Certainly not based on it, though.

Crappy (looking at the time): We might talk about Julia next time.  Oh, and Lou-Anne.  But, but, but….I have to know NOW, Rosie!  IS KATE GIRARDI DEAD AT THE END OF SEASON 1?  Has the DarkDemon of Detroit killed her dead in the most horrible, mutilating way possible?  (whispers) And is her maybe-death a result of Volare Putkin hating Ella Stuart Cartwright, the gorgeous girl who plays Kate Girardi?

Volare: I can’t lie.  I’m not a huge fan of Ella Stuart Cartwright or her character, Kate Girardi.

Crappy (ignores her): Please, please tell us!  Does Kate Girardi die?  Will fangirls and fanboys of the Jamieson/Kate ship be shattered?

Rosie: I can’t tell you that, Stewart!  That’s a huge spoiler!  All I can say is, if you’re interested, buy the book.  You never know what will happen.

And on that note, the penultimate stage of the interview concludes with a reminder that the ENTIRE Fangirl series is available to purchase, 24/7, in any country of the world.  Be part of a cult before the books fade into twilight.

cross posted to LiveJournal

Boston publicist, Volare Putkin and King Pin of the Sapphire Scripting team conducted an interview with Rosie Jones about the release of her third novel, ‘ZOMG!  The Northern Fangirls’.  The first part of the chaos can be found here.

Unbeknownst to them, Volare and King Pin are fictional characters appearing in the second book – a novella of deleted scenes – and the television program for which they work (Sapphire) is also completely made up.  They’re quite deluded.  They can be entertaining in small doses if you can understand King Pin’s thick Scottish brogue (which he emphasizes for effect) and suffer Volare Putkin’s super-sized opinion of her own awesomeness.

Here, Rosie Jones attempts to redirect the conversation towards the story about Fangirls.  She tries.  Getting around the Putkin ego and the King Pin innuendo is a publishing feat in itself.

Remember, if you want to buy any of the books, you can shop online starting with the original.

It is my pleasure to announce the winner of  the  ZOMG! The Northern Fangirls competition.  It is IRENE!  As the lucky competition winner, you will have the new novel zoomed out very soon.  Thank you to all who entered and congrats Irene!  If you could please contact me on fangirlsingstheblues@gmail.com, I will finalize all the details.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Volare Putkin: Sweetie!  Last time we covered your need for a makeover and publicity come next book release.  I see you’ve made a start!  Taken some tweezers to that mono-brow and washed some of that grey outta your head?  Go, you!

Rosie Jones: That’s right, Volare.  I’d appreciate if we could talk about the story rather than my appearance.  I know your field is publicity, but this interview isn’t on webcam.

Volare: (whispers loudly) Thank God.

King Pin: On puss!  Give the lass a chance!  Snowball’s chance in a vat o’ single malt o’ Rosie ever lookin’ as hot as uz.  Lookit me.  Natural born sex on stick.

Volare: (snarkily) Only because you have the best publicist working with you, baby.

King Pin: (leery) Aye.  Working wif me, working on me, working around me—

RJ: (desperately)  The book, please?  Anyone here even interested in the story?

King Pin: It’s her bloggo!  We prolly should chat book.  Ya noooo I’m writin’ one, gels?

RJ: (losing patience)  I’m actually really happy with the way ‘ZOMG! The Northern Fangirls’ has turned out.  It was nice to introduce two more main characters and two or three minor ones.  I think my favourite character is Dee in London.  She loves bandom as well as Sapphire fandom.

King Pin: Wha’ the bleedin’ ‘ell is BANDOM?

RJ: (buoyed by the interest)  It’s the obsessional love of a rock band or singer.  Dee’s in love with the Cavemen of Dorris.

Volare: Who?  And voilà Volare! I disliked the character of Dee so much.  She’s a whiny biatch.

RJ: I thought you hadn’t read it, Volare?  Only scanned it for your own name?

Volare: Stewart has read it – you know the newest Sapphire writer?

King Pin: God save Glasgow!  HIM?  Ya nooo wha’ I call him behoond his back, lass?

RJ: (downhearted)  So Stewart didn’t like Dee Henderson?

King Pin: I call him Crappy Writer.  The lad’s pens like a load of shite.

Volare: Sweetheart, fluffhead, darling!  Stewart loved Dee Henderson, but I don’t love Stewart.  I can’t like Dee via association.

RJ (muttering) Oh, for fu—

Volare: But during the scan of the novel, I did like the vibe of Julia.  And I like the idea of Lou-Anne as carolnavaho. Do you want to talk about Julia?  Do you want to compare Julia and Dee?

RJ: Finally!  Without giving too much of the story away, Julia and Dee fangirl the same character and actor in Sapphire, but with a very different intensity.  They LOVE Davis Merrit the character played by Peterson Collier the actor.  This draws them together somewhat because Peterson’s Davis Merrit is a secondary actor/character to Jake Sullivan’s Jamieson Trelor.\

King Pin: We get tha’ lass.  We work with bof Peterson an’ Jake.  I dooner like the lass, Julia.  I like me some Dee.  Pity she’s from south o’ the border.  Gets sum sense at the end, tho’.  Don’t she, lass?

RJ: (elated)  You’ve read it, King Pin?  You’ve read ‘ZOMG! The Northern Fangirls?’

Volare: Ever since you mentioned something about creating us, King Pin has been taking your new book to bed with us.  He’s not happy we’re not in it, but he seems to laugh, sweetie!  That, or wanna have sex.

King Pin: Well, I be in bed with you, puss.  Whaddya expect?  (To Rosie:) Las’ time, you said somepin abooot the characters bein’ different.  Okay.  Let’s start wif Julia and Dee.  Next time, we coulda talk booot Grace and Maddie tooooo.

RJ (excited)  Oh, really?  How fantastic.  Could we also talk about themes?  I need to talk about some situations and why I have used them.

Volare (looking at her watch) Do we have to?  Egads are about to hit the gonads, Rosie, so get to it:

RJ: Julia and Dee are at different stages of their lives.  Julia is married with umpteen kids, a travelling husband and ample time on her hands to fangirl due to being financially comfortable.  She has a full-time nanny (not played by Fran Drescher!) and lives in luxury.

King Pin: Who?  Wha?

RJ: Dee is recovering from the departure of her live-in boyfriend.  She goes out with her school friends, works part time and is muffling her way through her thesis for PhD.  She’s a fangirl of Sapphire — loves the entire cast — but especially Peterson Collier, Jake Sullivan and Ella Stuart Cartwright.

Volare: That’s it!  Time’s up for today, Rosie of the Mono Brow.

RJ: You don’t like me mentioning Ella Stuart Cartwright, do you?

Volare: (tuts) She’s a pawn, to be moved on my chessboard of publicity and Sapphire dominance.  Oh, and Pookeh here (jabs King Pin in his toupee).

RJ: You really dislike her, doncha?

Volare: And how would you know that?  Have you spoken to Ella recently?

RJ: No.  But I created you all.  Even the cast of Sapphire. I know about your feelings for ESC because I invented them!

As the interview comes to a close, King Pin looks at the ground to avoid Rosie’s eyes and Volare flounces out of the room muttering something about ‘most writers being nuts.’  Stay tuned for the next part of the interview, coming to a split personality near YOU.

cross posted to LJ

This morning, I mentioned to someone that I must be getting old.  Switching from the grooooooovy FOX-FM radio station (mostly because I deplore the ‘gotcha calls’ – but don’t get me started on that) I bumped into a more mellow radio station.

Thankfully, I didn’t ‘bump’ into anything else.  Twas driving at the time.

When I started singing along to Michael Bublé’s Still Haven’t Met You Yet rather than belt out the latest by Fall Out Boy or Beyonce and The Ga Ga, it struck me.  My eclectic musical tastes were showing their age! Then Pop Jones said ‘I really like this song, mum,’ and it made me feel a little better.  Sure, she’s only turning 7 next month, but she’s a groover and shaker.

Later, someone revealed that La Bublé’s song was an (unofficial) theme tune for those undergoing IVF treatment, and any worry I was embracing popular music for the middle-aged fell away.  Listening to the song again and reading the lyrics, my heart did that little thing it does when something so beautiful happens – you know?  That ping? When you feel you can’t swallow with emotion and there’s a little flutter?

Okay, so that might only happen to me!

Still, the song is fantastic as an inspiring theme for people around the world who confront issues with fertility.  It’s upbeat and hopeful.  It’s poignant with tentative anticipation, but confident and positive in tone.  It’s almost ‘well I’ll leave everything in the hands of fate, because what will happen is meant to happen.’ In time.

And it’s edged with token sadness because he still hasn’t ‘met you yet’.

Dedicated to those facing the struggles in this life  . . .

I’m Not Surprised

Not Everything Lasts

I’ve Broken My Heart So Many Times,

I Stop Keeping Track.

Talk Myself In

I Talk Myself Out

I Get All Worked Up

And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It

I Came Up With A Million Excuses

I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It’ll All Turn Out

You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out

And I Promise You Kid That I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

Mmmmm ….

I Might Have To Wait

I’ll Never Give Up

I Guess It’s Half Timing

And The Other Half’s Luck

Wherever You Are

Whenever It’s Right

You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing

And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me

And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ……

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out

And You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out

And I Promise You Kid I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet