Apparently, there is a worse swear word than the C-word according to Pop.
You might remember that when my kids asked me about the C-word and what it actually was, I didn’t tell them. It’s a word I don’t use. I mentioned that they’d hear it soon enough, I wasn’t going to say it just to alert them to what it is, nor do I think it’s age appropriate. Not sure when it is suitable, but there you have it!
And I’m no fucking prude.
Pop decided to devise her own C-word and she’s been using it whenever the need arises.
Swearing aside, Pop came to me yesterday and lectured me on the problem of being really, really mad. ’I don’t know the best word to say when I am so mad, I want to burst.’
Being the groovy, non-cutter, non-nutter mutter, I advised her to take her furious self into her bedroom and SCREAM into a pillow. ’Just remember to bring your face out of the pillow before you feel a tingling sensation in your extremities,’ I added, not wanting to find an angry, blue child with no scream left!
She wasn’t satisfied. What the heck didn’t that child understand about tingling extremities, ffs? And why so many questions all the time? And the frigging obsession with swearing? Why? Why? Why? Will it be the same when she learns exactly what else the F-word can actually mean?
I’m retiring as maternal adviser by then. Might do a Kevin ’07 and get a Julia to come in and take over the top job. Too much pressure, it’s like answering questions from the depth of the pediatric paparazzi.
Getting back to the prologue of the piece, there is a more serious swearword than cutter! Or phrase then oh, my cutter! Unimpressed with my suggestion to put face to cushion and SCREAM inanities into the softness, Pop came back into the kitchen the next night and proceeded to tell me that if ‘I’m really, really mad, you know? Like worse than anything, I say ‘Oh my cutter! With thorns!’
Al-righty! If I was to analyze this, I suspect the use of ‘thorn’ is akin to the person known as the ‘cutter’ being a thorn in the side of the swearer? Or, the swearer is SO angry, that their head feels like it’s encased with a crown of thorns? Or, perhaps ‘cutter’ alone is JUST NOT ENOUGH in the course of the vent?
Thus, ‘cutter, with thorns’ is the step up from simply ‘cutter’. It’s like saying f*****g c***** instead of using the solitary expletive. It’s like adding the ‘such a’ in front of terms like bitch and bastard. Or, if you’re insulting food (because sometimes food can make us angry too), it’s like suggesting ‘You are such a hamburger! With dill pickle!’
The phrase ‘cutter, with thorns’ is currently being used about the place in two ways: One is an expression of horror at what’s happening (eg: if Pop gets a maths problem wrong ‘oh my cutter, with thorns). The second is as a derogatory term, eg: YOU cutter, with thorns, Pip!
Again, I grimace at what’s ahead of us when Pop turns into a teenager. Perhaps ‘Up your cutter with thorns, nutter mutter!’ Or, Mutter! You’re such a cutter, with asbestos!
Bloody hell!
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11 Responses to A Thorny Issue
LOL *pats you* *wipes tears*
Well, looking on the bright side, the whole thing shows Pop is a) obedient: swearing is not allowed and she will not swear…technically *g*; and b) very creative: who makes up a swear word, ffs? *loves her*
See, I don't even know what that C-word is. I have an idea, but I'm pretty sure it's not what I have in mind anyway.
Relax, it'll be fine. I wasn't into swearing when I was her age and didn't have so many questions about swear words, but I'm sure this is just a phase. Hang in there!
Don't worry Hun…….it'll only get WORSE. Bahahahahaha!!!!
I'm so enjoying all of this……. Karma I think it's called, remember the time you came to stay with us…..??
and, it's your fault you have such intelligent, imaginative, inquisitive beautiful children, but I AM here with any moral support you may require *tries to hide the smug smile*.
Love you and yours. xoxoxox
It's true, Laura. I think you need to send your little one over here so we can teach her/them what's really swearing and what's not! LOL. Apparently, things only get
worsebetter when they're teenagers.*hugs*
BTW, do you like this blog plugin disqus thingabob?
The only important C-words in this exchange are croissant and camembert, Maureen! She's a cheeky girl, miss pop, and she's creative to boot. I didn't have many questions about swearing at her age either. My mum would have sent me straight to my room with a tug on my ear, lol.
Thanks for the visit. Enjoy your Wednesday!
lol. Always SO supportive, lady. I think when you're down you can take Pip and Pop for question time. You're so good at it and have had lots of experience. Creeby boy is also asking his mum lots of questions about wives and things, so be ready.
Karma? See I should have been allowed to play in that hockey match even though I'd been sick all night. You were so unfair, you cutter!
Hon, I really like the disqus, tbh. Do you? The threaded comments and staying logged in with twitter and what not. It's very comfortable. I've still got to figure out how to be notified of replies to my own comments by email (I think I saw a checkbox somewhere?). Plus it's pretty *g*
Ok, there's the 'subscribe by email button' *duh* though I think I subscribed to the entire thread? I like that too, as long as stuff gets delivered to my inbox *g* /lazy
You make me laff, with your laziness and subscriptions. I'm glad it shows up in your inbox. I not comprehendo of the twitter ref, tho, but no worries. I don't tweet beak-oz I not a bird.
Orrighty roo. Chat soon. If you don't understand this comment, then I don't wanna disqus it. Just saying
xxx
[...] was one of those times when ‘cutter with thorns‘ wasn’t even a strong enough [...]