Cleaning isn’t my forte. It’s important to be upfront about what skillz we have (spelling is another of moi strong soooots) and equally as candid about things we no can do.
When I was 14 years old and attending a catholic ladies college (circa 1981) I studied sewing with a wizened, frightening woman named Mrs Pewtrid. Scary lady. Failed me, and it was the only N I ever received in nearly 20 years of formal education.
She hated my cross-stitch, almost gagged at my garment-cutting and blamed me for any bobbin that went missing from the sewing machines around the school.
And so to cleaning. I think if I channeled Mrs Pewtrid, she would give me a massive FAIL for this domestic past-time.
Please don’t misunderstand, I love cleanliness – it’s right up there next to godliness in The Rosie Jones’ Book of Household Priorities. It’s just that I SURFACE clean. And without sounding like an egotist, I think I rock at that.
Bet you probably do too? You know, the zoooom around with the vacuum to whisk the crunchy bits of the floor. The cleaning of the lavatory in case of impromptu visits from your MIL with the weak bladder. The wiping of the table following a meal . . .
Surface cleaning! Bring it on.
The issue relates to the 25th. We are hosting my family for lunch and the lovely inlaws for the Christmas-dinner-that-no-one-feels-like-eating, but everyone manages to chew something. I have a couple of people in the family who are Cleanliness Conservatives – a political party with a Senate (members who make laws about dust mites, mold, mildew and jail time for children with dirty homes) and a House of Representatives (members who ensure the surfaces in their own home is fit to lick with the human tongue)
I wonder if you know the type?
Because I am a surface cleaner, the last week has been spent looking at different aspects of our home (generally clean, livable, pleasant) and realizing that beyond the surface, it just doesn’t cut it! We have been dusting where the sun doesn’t shine, wiping venetian blinds with a-frenzy and washing windows that to the naked eye look fine – but to the Cleanliness Conservative Party would appear Pewtrid.
So, we are nearly there. Will the surroundings meet with the CCP stamp of approval? The proof will be in the (Christmas) pudding. Somehow, I doubt it, but when all is said and done, the season is about getting together with loved ones and simply ‘being’.
The dustier the better! And hey? If there is a little dab of tomato paste on the venetian blind in the kitchen? Have another champagne and it will look very art deco.
Thank you for visiting and reading over the last four months. I wish you all a Merry and safe Christmas and a vibrant 2010.