Cleaning isn’t my forte. It’s important to be upfront about what skillz we have (spelling is another of moi strong soooots) and equally as candid about things we no can do.
When I was 14 years old and attending a catholic ladies college (circa 1981) I studied sewing with a wizened, frightening woman named Mrs Pewtrid. Scary lady. Failed me, and it was the only N I ever received in nearly 20 years of formal education.
She hated my cross-stitch, almost gagged at my garment-cutting and blamed me for any bobbin that went missing from the sewing machines around the school.
And so to cleaning. I think if I channeled Mrs Pewtrid, she would give me a massive FAIL for this domestic past-time.
Please don’t misunderstand, I love cleanliness – it’s right up there next to godliness in The Rosie Jones’ Book of Household Priorities. It’s just that I SURFACE clean. And without sounding like an egotist, I think I rock at that.
Bet you probably do too? You know, the zoooom around with the vacuum to whisk the crunchy bits of the floor. The cleaning of the lavatory in case of impromptu visits from your MIL with the weak bladder. The wiping of the table following a meal . . .
Surface cleaning! Bring it on.
The issue relates to the 25th. We are hosting my family for lunch and the lovely inlaws for the Christmas-dinner-that-no-one-feels-like-eating, but everyone manages to chew something. I have a couple of people in the family who are Cleanliness Conservatives – a political party with a Senate (members who make laws about dust mites, mold, mildew and jail time for children with dirty homes) and a House of Representatives (members who ensure the surfaces in their own home is fit to lick with the human tongue)
I wonder if you know the type?
Because I am a surface cleaner, the last week has been spent looking at different aspects of our home (generally clean, livable, pleasant) and realizing that beyond the surface, it just doesn’t cut it! We have been dusting where the sun doesn’t shine, wiping venetian blinds with a-frenzy and washing windows that to the naked eye look fine – but to the Cleanliness Conservative Party would appear Pewtrid.
So, we are nearly there. Will the surroundings meet with the CCP stamp of approval? The proof will be in the (Christmas) pudding. Somehow, I doubt it, but when all is said and done, the season is about getting together with loved ones and simply ‘being’.
The dustier the better! And hey? If there is a little dab of tomato paste on the venetian blind in the kitchen? Have another champagne and it will look very art deco.
Thank you for visiting and reading over the last four months. I wish you all a Merry and safe Christmas and a vibrant 2010.
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Aww, I know how you’re feeling. But are you feeling better knowing how clean it is? White glove on, not a speck?
I had to clean today because I am under mother obligation. If I’m going to be living in her house, I’d better make sure it looks good when she comes to visit. Though that doesn’t include the oven in my book. I cleaned out the overhead lights for bugs and washed the front windows and door though! I should have double points for those.
Enjoy your family dinners!
Hey Beautiful Lady, from one party member who has now gone over to the dark side (leave the lights off and no-one sees the dust etc!!), bring on the champers, I say and to those who fuss over a little dirt……GET A LIFE!!!!
Shall see you tomorrow with my white cotton gloves on!!!!! xoxoxo
Ohhh another surface cleaner! I didn’t realise we had a name as such until I read this and realised I was one too! Unfortunately I live with a member of your CCP who, once a month will look around exasperated and start with mop in my hand, bucket in the other, cleaning. I find it best to escape for a few hours, children in tow, and leave him to it. The result? A clean house and things put away that for weeks I cannot find. Clothes in wrong rooms, toys in wrong boxes, etc but shit it looks good to anyone who walks in! x
See you then, lade. Bring on the blinkers and champers. I love the idea of leaving the lights off -- much more atmospheric and so great with hiding of the dust.
Happy Christmas eve.
Hi Sarah. Hope you had a great day, love. Thanks for visiting and hope to chat more soon. Hope the oven is clean (isn’t that a hideous job?)
Hey Kate. Merry Christmas! Glad to hear you live with a member of the CCP. They are nice to know but I wouldn’t want to be one ; ) Hope you and your girls and man had a great time. Happy New year and hope to see you soon.