There’s an art to nodding. A bit like hugging or air kissing, perhaps, you either do it or you DON’T?
Today’s the first morning of Term Four school in our city. As always, we park across the large pedestrian overpass that links the quieter street to the school, and during that half a kilometre walk, Pip, Pop and I encounter the usual suspects.
And it’s when paths cross that it’s easy to work out the nodders from the eye contact avoiders and NON-nodders.
We have been walking this route for three years and everyone is exactly the same, regardless of sunshine, showers, start of school, end of the day or hair style. You either NOD or you DON’T. I’m a nodder and a smiler. The technique is always a sharp, short butt of the head downwards (slightly off-centre to the right) accompanied by a (clean-teeth, non-morning breath) smile. Sometimes, when I’m feeling extremely jaunty, I may even raise my eyebrows in a comical sign of hey!
Like clockwork, the handful of people who reciprocate did so this morning, the other fistful of folk refuse to look at me. And that’s fine. It’s their prerogative – maybe they’re thinking of what to have for dinner, why this crazy woman (that’d be me) is smiling and nodding at them again, or why she is wearing the same tracksuit pants as she has all through winter.
There’s a particular lady I am eager to get to return my smile and nod. It’s become a bit of a quest on my behalf, which isn’t really fair – we don’t try to change people (see the song of the day). We try to accept them, grumpy face, eye-contact avoidance and all. It’s their RIGHT to NOT nod.
However, I decided I would wander into her line of vision and attempt to convert this woman to the wonders of nodding and smiling. This task was made easier by the fact I had already dropped Pip and Pop at school. Alone, I was able to infiltrate her oncoming personal space.
I started. I walked along, appearing to whistle and daydream, the non-nodder in sight. I ensured I had enough agility (and room) to dodge her at the last second, but when push came to shove (and I moved inward for the nod and smile routine) I had a moment’s hesitation, felt stupid that she looked at me as though I was a lunatic, and jerkily backed away.
What resulted was a quasi-nod, a half-smile/half-grimace and a strained neck from NOT following the natural progression of the nod while rebounding away.
*sighs*
Suffice to say I’m not in a neck brace, but I will not be negotiating nods again within the NO spasmodic head movement universe. I leave you with the gutsy Vanessa Amorosi’s ‘This Is Who I Am’ , reminding myself that I AM a nodder, and this lady is not.
This is who SHE is, this is who I am. Thanks for these lyrics, Vanessa. I wish I had heard them at 15.
I don’t care if I’m fat, or if you think my clothes are bad
‘cos I can go to sleep at night, I’m a good person and I’ll get by . . .
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8 Responses to On Nodding
Nodding at people you know -- and occasionally run into in the street -- is a polite way to acknowledge them.
Fun song, too! I really liked it. Thanks for shaaaring.
And OMG Dexter 402 was bloody awesome!
*half-grimaces… uh, smiles and waves*
Oh, I know the nod game. At the spur of the moment, you’re forced to decide who you know well enough to nod to, who you just barely recognize, and who you should just pass by because you’ve never seen before. It never occured to me to nod to everyone…that’s why you’re a nicer person than me.
I’ll try your theory!
I may be the Austrian lady, but I am a nodder. It’s that simple acknowledgement of another person. They are there, you are walking past -- it costs nothing to nod, and perhaps even smile! It doesn’t mean you are seeking a long-term relationship, or will ask them for anything. You don’t have to be an extrovert to nod, cos it’s just a nod! No conversation required, no strings attached. I have found, doing markets, that there are people who will look at your stuff, but not at you. I think it’s because they’re afraid they will have to buy something once they’ve made eye-contact.
And a big sloppy kiss for you Rosie!
Hey Maureen. I loved Dexter very much. Yes, I would nod at him, for fear of ending up in the boxing ring. Half-smile to you, too *g*.
Amy, you are a lot nicer than me, lady, and you probably DON’T have as stiff a neck from all the friggin nodding. Give the theory a try, be careful of the practise, *g*
Fiona! How are you, love? Yes, you may be austrian, but you are an Aussie at heart and you do a great hug and nod. Your comment made me laugh -- about extroverts and strings attached. Oh, about the market thing? Yes, I imagine that would be really unsettling. x
I want to go on record as a non-nodder. I do smile and raise my eye brows though. Nodding just doesn’t work for me. I don’t think I do this with everyone though. However, if I walked by the same people each day I would. Now you have me thinking about who I smile at.
Cathy! I know you would definitely nod at me, bb. Otherwise I will be in your personal space, up your nostrils and shaking your head for you ; )
Just joking, ma petal. Everyone is different -- *sings with Vanessa* Have a great weekend and thanks for the visit x
Rosie, like you, I do the drop off/pick up “dance” with the other mums at kinder. There are those which, even after a year, do not acknowledge, nor talk to anyone and stand to a side and others, like me who try and say hello to everyone (for fear of favouritism will rear its ugly head!) whilst we wait in the foyer for kinder to finish. I have met some lovely kinder mums this year but as its now November have given up on those few who choose to be their own island, drifting alone… I fear the nodding may begin in a couple of years which the onset of school. Your words will ring in my mind! x Kate [your little sister's work mate....]
I think by November, Kate, it’s a lost cause. ‘Nod, or be forgotten’ is now my motto! To be honest, I think many people are quite shy. That being said, a nod is not threatening at ALL.
Hope work is not too busy and the girls are well