It’s all about the timing.
The kids are growing rapidly, so like the ever-ready mother I am, I decided to check out whether Pip wanted to chat about her menstrual cycle while she was making miniature furniture the other afternoon.
Perhaps it’s just me? Maybe I’m an over-enthusiastic mum that wants her daughter to be prepared for the advent of her womanhood *gags* before time? Perhaps I’m overcompensating for my own lack of ‘open’ discussion about stuff when I was young? Maybe I’m just always going to be a bit like a teacher *double gags*.
Whatevs. When these times come, I try to be ultra-cool. I try to be upbeat, funny, hip, in-the-know. Entirely unshockable. Having taught units in sexuality and health to teenagers, I like to think I’m equipped to handle this type of thing and answer questions comprehensively. We’ve laid the groundwork early. Whenever Pip or Pop have a question regarding life, I approach it head on, although I do not conduct a chalk and talk lesson, nor do I use a pointer.
The other day, Pip bought up something about one of her little friends starting to ‘show breasts’. Refraining from choking on my cuppa and dissolving into hysterics about ‘showing breasts’, I nodded calmly. I internalized thoughts like ‘oh, my God, it’s too soon. Jeez, I can’t shop for my own bra let alone help a daughter! I’m too young to have a kid with breasts …’
I’m not, of course, but that’s beside the point. And sure, this group of children is still young, but the push towards puberty at quite an early age is terrifyingly common nowadays.
Without reaching for the container of Growth Suppressant Hormone, I sat down near Pip and watched her make a tiny cabinet out of cardboard. Her face was a picture of concentration. She’d mentioned the ‘showing breasts’ comment in passing when we were having afternoon tea, so I’d waited until she was alone and quiet to bring up the magic menstrual cycle.
Clearing my throat, I asked her if she remembered what a period was from when I mentioned it last time. Uh. No!
This is a child with a phenomenal memory. We were already off to an appalling start. At least with teenagers, someone in the class would usually say something inappropriate at this stage and everyone would laugh.
Within an instructive and (not) well-thought-out sentence, I reminded her of all the changes a body goes through during puberty. Pip nodded in time with my voice, continuing to make the tiniest frigging pieces of furniture I’d ever seen. Using my teacher’s voice, I then went on to recap about (drumroll) The Period! I finally got her to look up from her construction when I mentioned the word blood!
‘Does it hurt?’ she asked, although I knew that she was really thinking about where she was going to adhere the tiny cabinet, chair and couch into the ‘house’ made out of plastic strawberry containers. She tilted her head in the way she does, looked at me for a moment, then looked into space. Before I answered — truthfully as possible — about how it does feel, she was back in her own head again.
‘I don’t really get why it happens by what you’ve told me,’ she said with a grin.
That sort of comment is really perplexing (I can NEVER teach again), but just before I could launch into a detailed, scientific explanation using diagrams and flow charts, she interrupted my chain of thought. ’But I don’t think I really need to know about this stuff yet!’
Getting huffy, I prepared to tell her that it’s never too early to be aware of bodily changes and realize that (fanfare) The Period may arrive at any time for the unsuspecting pubescent, but I didn’t get another chance.
‘You know?’ she said, as she settled back into her furniture making role once more, the dip of her head telling me that this conversation was over. ’You know … it sounds … it just all sounds … really weird.’
Welcome to the world of hormones, my love. Your mother just needs to make sure that she doesn’t introduce the weird before it’s time. Although, in this household …
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8 Responses to Pipped at the Post
Oh, hon *g* *hugs*
You cool mom, you! Don’t be surprised if I call you in seven or eight years to talk to mine, k?
I’m thinking hard here, but I don’t remember anyone talking to me about this (certainly not my MOM OHNOESOMG). You’re fab for taking it on, and even if the convo was cut short, I’m sure she’ll remember having talked with you about it when the time comes.
PS: The jpeg looks FABULOUS! Do you have a bigger version, beyotch? I don’t have my granny glasses with me *squints*
Laura! I will need intensive Spanish lessons if I’m to Skype instruction to your petal. Will start practising now, in order not to get the wires crossed (if I am unclear in English, imagine what I’ll be like in Spanish, LOLOMGBBQ)
There will be a LOT of:
¿Cómo se dice … en español?.
Well, hon, I hope that she will remember when the time comes! My eldest sis has told me that they only take on what they’re ready for (with regard to natterings of sexuality) so I’ve tried to be honest with answering their questions, eg:
‘Mum. Where do babies come from?’
‘Ask your father.’
and pitch it at their level.
We’ll see *g*
I’ll have a look for that diagram in bigger res, hon. x
At least you didn’t get the response *I* got when I explained to Son #2, aged around 7 yrs, about how and ‘where’ babies came from: *hooting laughter* Oh, they do not, Mum! Yuk!”
LOL. At least you’re broaching this subject head on, so to speak. You never know, the Pip and Popster could invent their own explanation of how it all works, given that they’ve already started with cuss words…. *g*
Very true, love. They probably have their own words for ovulation and estrogen, so anything I tell them will be ho-hum
The bloody cutters!
LOL @ the yuk story. You need to remind him of that when he’s older, hon.
Hope all is well in the second (or third) best city in Oz. x
this is to test.
Rosie recently posted..Pipped at the Post
I had a similar encounter while driving with Mate on the way home from swimming. I mentioned puberty and testosterone. Apparently he’s learned a lot from a book about the human body that his Dad bought. And the book was handed over without thorough adult examination. No wonder he likes it, with all it’s pictures of ovaries, testes and underarm hair!
LOL. What is the book called? Did his dad sit and chat with him about it? I need to know more.
I wonder if Mate thinks all this stuff is ‘weird’?
Rosie recently posted..Mondayitis- Teaching
Knowledge is power and the power is his! I think it’s just facts, and it’s kind of nice and mother and son can discuss testicles without blushing (steer clear of vaginas though!). It’s not the kind of “Let’s sit down and read this together” kind of book -- I’ll show it to you next week, once we’ve discussed Mary.