It’s time to frock-up, Down Under.
The girlie daughters of this house, Pip (8) and Pop (6.5) are addicted to dance, and even though I have numerous issues about it, they attend class once a week. By issues, I mean (in no particular order):
• the make-up they have to wear on stage, causing them to look like combinations of transvestite children, old comedians and tweenies-gone-wrong. But they have to pack on the foundation otherwise they will look SIK and Swine-flued on stage, doncha know!
• the skimpy outfits. Okay, this one is dicey. They look cute, but sometimes an 8-year old with legs like a supermodel and an attitude to match looks older than cute. Call me prude, old-fashioned, a Diva-ista of a Mother, but the costumes are NOT cricket. They are a little ‘floosey-lucy like’.
If the costumes were cricket, they would probably be worn on the bikini models giving out free drinks in between overs. Howzat?
• the two-concert schedule on school nights. Again, please call me old fashioned, but the shows go until 23.00 hours and then there is ‘removal of make-up time and washing of hairspray-out hour . . . ‘
• the construction of costumes.
This leads me to the music-theme of the post and my major revelation – Guess what? I ain’t No Frock star.
Yesterday, my younger sister Alli came to visit. I rang her ahead of time to ask her when she’d be over and told her I needed to know so I could sew some stuff while we were chatting. She audibly baulked. I heard her intake of breath and knew she was probably having some sort of laughing episode. Evidently this is such a Life Contradiction – Rosie & Sewing – that she arrived on the doorstep as soon as she stopped the hilarity of her coughing attack.
She even took a mobile phone photo of me sewing fringe and sequins on some black leggings and sent it to our mother and older sibling.
It’s no laughing matter. I’m a failure as a Dance Mum/Mom. I really am. At the start of 2009 when Pip and Pop were adamant that they wouldn’t do Auskick or Milo Cricket or Kelly Sports, I prayed they would grow into basketball, netball and tennis. I could coach them. I could umpire, instruct, teach, run skills sessions, referee, cut oranges – I was trained to do this. Hell, I could even do a muscle analysis of what was involved in their sport and help them remove lactic acid accumulation during cool down.
But they both wanted to dance.
We selected a dance school close to home. My wishlist included that they didn’t have an end-of-year concert and there wouldn’t be costumes to sew – well, they DO have two concerts, but I wouldn’t be sewing costumes because you paid a fee and the costumes, sequins, fluff and fringe are provided. However, due to ‘individual sizing and the need for MORE fringe and sequins, parents will have to do a bit of ‘tacking.’
‘Tacking?’ I gulped under my breath. That involves a needle and thread. I don’t DO sewing, I longed to yell at the mother’s meeting. Sewing gives me angina.
Unlike my talented friend Fiona at Squirt Baby, I don’t design, make and sell clothes for little people, big people or pets. I JUST DON’T! Fiona tried to get me to go fabric shopping once – she got me into the shop, I nearly passed out from the fumes of materials, cottons, polyesters, what have YOUSE! She was kind and only made me stay until I stamped my feet and pouted like her two youngest daughters. They didn’t. I did.
Unlike Fiona, some of the Dance Mums make me feel totally inadequate. They come to the sessions with sewing kits, tiny scissors and supercilious looks. Whenever my fringe fails or my sequins sinks to the ground, they look down their noses and continue to work upon their own child’s Wonder of Creation. When I don’t have the correct cotton or advanced needle technique, I hear them internally sigh. They hate me. They wear black, lots of make-up and high heels. They hate my messy hair and long green coat.
I can’t sew.
But, I wonder if they can sing every word of their daughter’s dance songs! I bet they don’t have the original vinyl of the jazz number (such a daggy word, ffs) Jump, by the Pointer Sisters:
I wonder if the Frock Stars can mix the 12-inch versions of First Class’ ‘Beach Baby’ (used for the tap number, ffs) with ‘Jump’ to produce a song that could be danced to while the kids are wearing the costumes?
Who knows? The most important things are the smiles of Pip and Pop as they dance and the fact they are not crying neath a basketball ring because their mother made them do it – says I, as I prick my finger on a spindle and die!
[ad#long for post]
Random Reads
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it!
Welcome to Fangirl Sings the Blues
If you enjoy reading about the characters of Bridezilla, Henley & Cass, Veronica Lord, The Carpet Whisperers, Volare, King Pin, and anything else written here, you might like to try a novel or three:
The Fangirl Series
Number 3 - Latest Release
Number 2
Number 1
The Fangirl Series
Number 3 - Latest Release
Number 2
Number 1
Connect with us:
18 Responses to Sew What? (I’m not a frock star)
OMG I don’t know whether to laugh or cry!!
I nearly fell off my chair when you mentioned “sewing” -- I didn’t think you could even spell it!! My first reaction was -- you should have called!! I would have done it for you, I will do it for you. Now I’m feeling a little teary at all those nasty stage Mum cows. They are not worthy of being in your presence.
I applaud you for allowing your girls to choose their own activities (yes, I know, with any luck they’ll grow out of it) and supporting them, at great personal cost (take a non-frock-star bow)!
PS Do you remember it was two fabric shops, not one!
PPS Do you think Al could send the pic to me???
LOL. Al will send the pic to you, I’m SURE. You know when I first posted this I spelt ‘sequins’ as ‘sequence’.
Thanks for your offer, dearest, you are wonderful and generous, but it’s such a small series of jobs. It’s not rocket science, *g*. It’s just I can’t stand it and there are TWO mothers that are udder cows. The rest of the herd are lovely.
Good God, did we go into two fabric shops? I think I repressed the memory of the second one.
Hope your Monday is good. x
You are the best Mom ever Rosie… It’s not always easy to let our kids decide, is it?
But it’s such a glee when you watch them and they are happy. My daughter has decided to start playing the cornet (it’s like a small trumpet, but you know that probably) and I can tell you, the sound is terrible… The cat is running away -- and I wish I could run away too -- whenever she’s doing her homework.
I can help with sewing if you wish ;o)
and waow, your Friend Fiona is talented! I was visiting her website and I’m speechless…and I would love to go to fabric shops with her -- and you!lol
Congratulations on your new website, dearest, it’s a treat to come here *smiles*
Have a nice week
xo
Bwah! Just your “Pink” title made me smile
Poor you! I took dance class as a kid and my mom did the costumes as well, I think she was okay with it though…lol
Gosh those songs are awesome!
Have a good week hon! Good luck on the sewing.
*hugs*
Hey Nicole. It’s lovely you like to visit here. thanks so much for saying. I LOLed about you wanting to run away with the cat from the coronet. *g*. Apparently the beginner violin is MUCH worse, lady.
I hope the family is well. Fiona is a very talented lady and her kid’s clothes are unbelievable. She would LOVE you to fabric shop with her. I nearly died of the boredom ; ) Big hugs. Keep well hon.
*waves to Pauline*
I want my girls to do SPORT. Your mum deserves a medal for doing your costumes, honey, but perhaps she was very competent? The songs they are using for dance are good, it’s a pity they are not simply moshing or disco dancing, but having full make up and flouncing.
Bwah! Thanks hon. I will be back to talk Beatles with you soon
x
The Pointer Sisters’ “Jump” is such a great song.
No dancing for me, but I’m totally singing at the top of my lungs and bouncing on my chair.
Oh, and your little icons with the funny faces make me laugh. Ever seen Funny Face with Audrey Hepburn, by the way? It’s lovely and doesn’t get old.
Happy Tuesday night. x
So you didn’t do dance as a young woman, Ms Maureen? That’s good. I’m sure your mum was relieved. I was a dance mum again tonight, and NOW THERE IS MORE SEWING.
Pointer Sisters were awesome when I was in about Year 9 (14 or 15). ‘Dare Me’ ‘Im so Excited’ and ‘He’s so Shy’ are my faves.
I have seen Funny Face. I find her films don’t date -- she was a timeless face and talent. We watched ‘My Fair Lady’ recently -- she was funny in that too. Glad you like the little icons *g*
Thanks for visiting and happy Tuesday, love. *still laughing at that LJ icon*
Oh, I did take dance classes when I was young. But I turned to other artistic domains later on: piano, etc…
“I’m So Excited”, and many other Pointer Sisters songs are really fun to listen to.
I love that LJ icon you commented on. *g*
Oh and I forgot to tell, my dance class didn’t involve makeup and/or major hair styling (a couple of pigtales was enough! bwah!).
My mom is kinda good on sewing, but she’s all self-taught (and her mom and mother-in-law watching) and she doesn’t bother with lots of necessities…I’ll have to send you a pic of one of my costume, it’d make you laugh *g*
Nice chatting Beatles with you btw hon!
PS : Dancing is a sport!
Hey Ladies from one of my fave European countries in the Entire World (non Europe included)
Maureen love, I bet your mum was glad for you to turn to the piano. Seriously, being a Dance Mum is doing my head in and NOW THERE IS MORE SEWING. I love that LJ icon too. *g*
And The Pointer Sisters ROCK. They were awesome to dance to in the 80s on a packed dance floor (no sewing needed for that sort of dancing, btw)
Pauline, my sweet!!!!~ DANCING IS NOT A SPORT. It’s an ORGANIZED FLOUNCE. Really? where are the numbers on the backs, the tackling, the kicking, the team mates, the goals????
LOL. I know. Obviously I am not coping as a Dance Mum.
I admire your mum being self-taught. I don’t have the patience. It’s also nice to read that you didn’t have make up and the hair goo -- it’s much more natural. I don’t like seeing little girls with a full face of make up (call me old fashioned -- or maybe just ‘old’)
I loved talking Beatles, hon
x
Pointer Sisters -- who can resist a bit of a boogie when they’re playing up loud?!
LOL at the organised flounce -- I find this whole thing hilarious. Some kinder mum’s were discussing the local ballet school with the very stern teacher. Apparently these 3 y.o. kiddies do four concerts and they are not allowed to miss rehearsals. It’s on my “I don’t get it list”!!
And to NICOLE -- my Mum would make me practice the French horn in the backyard. Needless to say, I didn’t continue on with it. Even now, when I see a French horn playing in an orchestra, I feel a pang of jealously and unfulfilled potential *g*. And, after all those lovely comments -- you are my new best friend!
Onload of page my antivirus put alert, check pls.
“Sewing gives me angina.”
It’s fine, Rosie. I didn’t need that mouthful of tea.
have checked, no virus alert problems and using protection offered through my host site and wordpress.
Tanya! XXXX
Fiona, you are very fickle with your friends, love.
BWAH! Oh, Rosie, this was too bloody funny. I’m probably not much of a Dance Mum either so it’s fortunate that I only have boys, lol — PLENTY of sports coaching/encouragement/participation needed there and I’m totally into all that!
You’ll laugh (or be jealous, not sure which) when I tell you that Mitch came home from school the other day telling me that I *definitely* had to come and help out with his school softball team this week… “Mr Tudbury is the coach Mum, and he’s soooooo hopeless! *rolling of eyes* He can’t even pitch properly.” Hee. Poor Mr Tudbury. What a tough crowd, lol.
I was lucky as a child because my mother COULD sew… but there were some ‘disadvantages’ from a kids POV, let me tell you… I was one of those kids dressed in matching skirt and vest combos, made by Mum. Some of those outfits make me cringe now but they were ALL THE RAGE back then, of course. *g*
Check out my new profile pic on FB *winks* bwah!
(You know, some of the costumes involved a bathsuit, whichever we had, and a rain coat!
)
Your blog just ate my comment. I’m not amused.
So what was I saying? I think I remember: 1. I love Fiona’s blog. It’s full of happy fabric that instantly calms me. 2. You’re way ahead of me in the sewing department. If a button falls off an item of clothing around here, it simply has to be thrown away. There’s nothing else to do for it.
Now, if this comment doesn’t go through, I’m just giving up and emailing you. *g*
hey Sarah. We need a swapsie. I need some boy’s baseball to coach, you need to come down and do some sewing and make up application, bb. LOL @ Mr Tudbury. Jeez. Poor guy. I hope he can teach better than he pitches. *waves and hugs*
Pauline: yep, I will go over and see your sewing update. I’m sure you’re cutsie : D
Sorry about the eating of the comment, Amy hon. those blogs. They can be biatches. OMG. Fiona and her fabric?! Do you like fabric, lady? Then you and Nicole can go shopping with her! LOL about the button and clothing being thrown away….um, yes. I’ve done that *hides*