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Nearly nine years ago, a little girl came into our world. We were ready for her. We rejoiced in her, and in the instant she was born, she gave the impression that she’d been here before.
Sometimes, you can see this in the world-weariness of the eyes. The old soul, the knowingness of spirit. All parents believe their children to be special and unique. They are, and thankfully we live in an era where small people are no longer regarded as little boxes rolling along a conveyer belt, to be filled with the plastic input of adults.
This child was different from the start.
In the year before my sister passed away, I spoke to her regarding this little girl. I was worried she wasn’t making any friends at school, that she was on a different wavelength to all the kids in her class, that she was a bit of a loner. Already. Lea assured me this was quite normal — both my concerns as a mumsy, and that many young children play alone, regardless of their abilities, interests and level of socialization.
‘What if she’s lonely?’ I wailed.
‘She can be alone, but not lonely. Not everyone needs companionship. She might be very different to you.’ My sisters are very wise. I am incredibly lucky.
The conversation continued, and I distinctly remember her telling me that Pip would ‘find a special friend one day. Like-minded people are around, but it sometimes takes a while to find them.’
And she would know. Lea was a little left-of-centre at times, but she inevitably found her like-minded people.
Heartened by her words, I watched and waited.
In the year Lea passed away, Pip made a friend. The exact same month, at the very start of her school year! The entire family received signs that Lea was still very close, walking with us, supporting us from her new-found haven of peace. This was one of many times I felt her hand.
I could call it a coincidence, but to do that would be to sham my instinct. As I have evolved, so too has that feeling in my viscera that tells me all is not lost or all is not right, all is okay or all is exactly as you believe. That feeling in your gut.
Pip made a friend that month and it was special. Her friend was reading similar books, discussing similar philosophies, dissecting adult commands (don’t get me started on this!) daydreaming at the same time maths was being taught, and pretending that unicorns wandered amongst us.
They gelled. They imagined and discussed and were that little bit crazy-scary-advanced-alternative together. And for the first time in her short school life, Pip felt like she belonged in that same class. Her friend was there. It was okay to think a certain way. To be an individual.
Pip’s friend’s family is leaving now. They are going ‘home’, over the seas, and I feel the distress for our daughter quite profusely. It’s like my heart is shredding tissue, and I suspect parents feel this in a variety of different ways, over thousands of different times, over the course of their child’s life. It’s not as though I will miss Pip’s friend with that sort of intensity — although she is a very nice girl from a lovely family — it’s simply that Pip will. Not that she’s saying much at all, it’s just my instinct telling me she’s hurting.
But that’s life. Apparently, part of the parenting role is to allow the child to experience the full rainbow of emotion, to colour their lives with the yellow of joy, the purples of passion, the blue of loss, the pot of gold of possibility. We can’t shield them. We can’t absorb the pain, make it our own, and allow them to dwell in Utopia forever.
It would be nice to, but when it is time for them to grow, fate dictates that moment and we become mere spectators in their lives. We already were.
So, Bon Voyage, Pip’s friend. We shall miss you, but she’ll know that you’re flying around on the other side of that rainbow. She’ll see your wings ; )
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11 Responses to Time to Grow
Beautifully written Lady and I also feel your pain, but as the saying goes…. better to have loved/made friends and lost, than never to have loved at all. The world is such a small place these days and with technology the way it is, Pip can at least keep contact with her friend
Give her a huge squashy auntie hug from me, mwah xoxoxox
True words about ‘better to have lost at love…or lost a bestie’. It is quite sad, but they say that kids are the best rebounders, don’t they?
Hope you are great, lady. This time tomoz night you’ll have visitors. Hope you are READY with the frogs and bats, LOL. They are excited, so that’s good. Make sure you do some long, long walks and swims and night safaris. Can’t wait to hear what you get up to.
Have given a hug from you to both of them. thanks for these special words, lady xx
PS. Sometimes life’s a bitch ain’t it!!!!!!
Or, as I like to say ‘life’s a bitch, and now I’m one’.
*hugs*
Oh, I’m sorry, hon. It must be tough (for Pip AND you).
Naomi is much younger, of course, but her best friend in school for two years now (the two youngest in the class. They seek each other out for everything, fighting included) will be leaving at the end of the next school year and I’m already fretting o_O She’ll forget/move on faster because of her age, probably, but, still. I get you *hugs* Part of the learning process, like you say. For them AND us.
Love this:
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Stupid WP LOL
This:
We can’t absorb the pain, make it our own, and allow them to dwell in Utopia forever.
It would be nice to, but when it is time for them to grow, fate dictates that moment and we become mere spectators in their lives. We already were.
Hi you. WTF with the WP comments, ffs? LOLBBQCIA.
That’s sad news for Naomi too (and you) and I’m not sure that being younger will make a whole lot of difference if they seek each other out. LOL about the fighting. I couldn’t imagine that blossom fighting *squishes her* (she must take after her dad!)
YOu know? I think the thought of Pip’s friend going is (probably) almost as bad as the actuality. It’s the lead up. As with most things, anticipation is a killer, innit?
Hope all is well and your carpet is not getting pulled up *g* *hugs and waves*
Poor love -- I hope she finds her way through it. Maybe she could wear her new skirt to cheer herself up??
LOL. Oh, that’s sensitive, my love! Next you’ll be wanting to send more GIFTS (in capital letters). We look forward to catching up with kid and cuppa time over the hols.
Love lots x
That’s so hard. I can still remember the heartbreaking goodbye when I moved away from my best friend when I was seven. (But as you said, it’s life, and we all move on.) It’s hard to find truly special friends though, and I hope little Pip-girl finds another soon!
It is life, hon, but it’s not easy. In fact, it can be a biatch, yep? I didn’t know your BF moved away when you were young too! Did you keep in touch, I wonder? Thanks for the words re Pip-girl. I’m hoping the waiting is worse than when the time comes, although no doubt she’ll miss her