The Blues

Have you ever waded through slush?  According to northern hemisphere friends, there’s a fair chance they will be met by slush when they venture outside at the moment.

It’s a nasty image, isn’t it?  Then, slip on some nude pantyhose, pop on your best shoes as though you are going to meet someone special, only to open the door, realize it’s rained/snowed/spat from the heavens and your track is soiled by SLUSH.

It’s yuck and (potentially) gooey.  Dirty, sleety, wheaty (can be in Australia, anyway) slimy, creature-infused MUCK.

Slush.

Now imagine a pile of it.  And then conjure a piece of work you’ve bleed over for the past 12 months being shunted to the bottom of the slush pile and there you have the main topic of this micro-rant today.

I’ll call it a micro-rant because it’s trendy (in Australia, anyway) to pair any term with the prefix micro.  eg: Can you micro-manage some fries with that enormous burger you’ve ordered?

‘Slush Pile’: a glamourous publishing and writing term related to a bundle of manuscripts lying on the floor/desk/bottom of dog kennel/corner of the office lavatory in a publishing firm’s working area.  Apparently, it is the job of the ‘newer’ publishing house staff (read: shit-kickers) to plough through the slush to find a future best seller.

What a job!  It’s akin to shoveling the snow that’s assembled at your door and been sneezed upon, hoping to discover a Willy Wonka golden ticket amid the crud.

Perhaps the new publishing employee enjoys this line of work in her/his new job?  It’s not really part of this post to consider that but to establish that slush pile is a derogative term.  It is!  Whether the new writer takes it to heart and struggles with it personally is another matter.

Is there another ‘line’ of work where you may toil for a year or more, pour pun, pontification or poem onto parchment, only to send it away comprehending that your manuscript will end up in the slush pile?

Imagine you’re an Accountant.  You’ve been work with figures all year, getting hot and bothered (and very excited, I might add) about the end of financial year, only to have your excel spreadsheets printed off and heaped into mid-year recycling.  What about a teacher: slaving all year to bring students up to scratch, chastising them for not listening or failing to do homework, only to have the Principal send you to the staff slush corner at the end of school function.  What about the year’s work of a pilot?  A postal delivery person?  A cop (nah, perhaps they work in the real mire of slush)?  A butcher, a baker, a children-clothes maker?

Does their work enter a domain-de-la-slush – where only the crapola manuscripts hang out?

On the other side of the slush, I’m sure ‘publishing staff’ would mention that not all manuscripts are equal and some are not deserving of consideration.  We exist in a world where only the best are recognized/published/decorated/promoted/given concerts.  It’s life, and if it’s too damn hot, get outta the kitchen!  Still, it doesn’t make the term any less condescending.

In keeping with the ‘line’ of work I love – writing fiction –  I devised my own politically-correct slush pile on my computer.  It’s to accustom original writing to the harshest of treatment with an infinitely nicer name.    It’s a hard-drive folder titled ‘Try Hards’. This file contains original work that (I think) would seep to the bottom  of the publisher’s slush, never to be seen again.

If you’re a piece of fictional writing, Try Hards is a difficult place to dwell.  But you miss out on the slushy mushy.  There is no gold-star for trying in this folder, but it’s warmer than the publisher’s floor space on lavatory tiles.

‘Slush pile’ is an offensive term.  Knowing your work might find its way there is enough to keep any writer humble.  No one likes to miss out on basketball selection/cookery prizes/academic awards/winning Super Mario Bros on Wii.  I suppose it’s why only the best are ever on the court, even though the rest try as hard as buggery.

The third novel in the Fangirl series, by Rosie Jones, is due out in February. ‘ZOMG!  The Northern Fangirls’ is the title.  It has spent some time in the Try Hards folder, but recently swam against the slush to salvage itself.  Just.

Random Reads

• February 15, 2012 -- There’s something about Magda
• May 28, 2010 -- The Gnarly Fashionista
• April 17, 2012 -- Funky & Chickapea do the Hungry Games
• February 29, 2012 -- Nits, Nuts and A Nus
• August 31, 2010 -- The Day I Met the Angel Gabriel